So....I scheduled a visit with Dr. Curran, the soonest he had available ( per scheduling) was September 26th. WHAT!??!! That's like three months away(from the day I scheduled it, I realize this update is a little past due)!! Dah-dah-dah-dah! Lucy to the rescue! She offered to call Dr. Curran, stating that he's probably want a ct scan or something to look at before seeing me. So she called me a few days later and said that as soon as I had that test done, she would let Curran know, and he'd get me right in. John and I had talked about me moving to Lucy's practice once insurance kicked in, the idea of seeing the same doctor every time I go was quite a novelty. So Lucy got me an appointment with one of her colleagues, Joanne Skaggs-and I LOVE her! She sent me to GMH for some tests; high resolution ct scan, ultrasound of my slightly enlarged thyroid, and an Echocardiogram......Those things hurt! Basically an ultrasound of the heart, but there's a ribcage in the way, so they have to press really hard. It's like being nearly impaled with a blunt object;two days later I'm still tender.
While waiting for testing day to come, Dr. Curran's office called to say there had been a cancellation and they could get me in much earlier than Sept. 26th. They had an opening on August 2nd. Awesome, but no, we'll be in Philly! So back to the first appointment date. Testing schedule set, and Dr. Curran's office calls to say that I have an appointment for July 29th, the day before we leave for Philly. Perfecto!
Test results are in yesterday(July 20) Dr. Skaggs calls me at work to give me the results of my echo, but I was at work and couldn't return her call until today. I've never been called for test results before, usually we review them the next time I see the doctor. You only get a call when there's bad news right? I don't know. I got up this morning and was about to call Dr. Skaggs when I got a call from Carolina Cardiology to schedule an evaluation, I had my choice of seeing my cardiologist, Dr. Vaz, or anybody available. I chose Dr. Vaz of course, and set up an appointment for August 16th. Then I called Dr. Skaggs to get the results, She was with a patient and asked if she could call me back. Of course, that would be fine. A couple minutes later, I got a call from Carolina Cardiology, the receptionist had called Dr. Skaggs office to tell them the appointment was set up and the date, and they told her it was supposed to be emergent. So I'm going tomorrow at 3:30, to see a doctor I don't know...and I'm not sure why yet. But it's OK, my husband loves me, and my great and loving God is in control of this situation( as my husband reminded me when I told him).
In other news, John has finished his Masters, and we're going to Philadelphia to celebrate that and our ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY:) and for a much needed vacation....a whole seven days away from my job, and two weekends in our beloved city. Two Sunday celebrations at the dearest place on earth-Grace Bible Church. The past month or so has been very trying to our patience, and our emotions as we look forward to; being at Grace, and worshipping, and celebrating Jesus with our dear brothers and sisters; fellowship with dear friends like Danny and Becky Adams, and their girls, Tom and Karen Horton, and their family, Ian and Rachel McConnell and their kiddos, sweet giants of the faith, Walt and Roberta Grummt and Curt and Cindy Brown, my dear sister Linda Kilner, Brad and Heidi Steiner....my heart longs to be with these and many more dear friends. And then there's the food...the driving amongst northerners who are in a hurry to get where they need to go, and are almost never in the way. I LOVE driving in this city!
There's a lot coming in the next few days, possibly big decisions to be made, possibly bad news to hear, and, most likely, more tests to go through. But my loving Father is sovereign, none of this will surprise Him, and His plan is perfect. And at the end of these next LONG 8 days, we will leave this place for 10 days away from work, to be together the whole time, if we choose. I look forward to getting my fill of quality time with my husband. Work has made it very difficult of late, and I'm nearly running on empty. Thanking God for His provision in this.
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Grace in Answered Prayer
This past week I had my typical every-other-month check-up with my Rheumy. She was able to look at the report of the biopsy from the Dermatologist, and explained that there's an interface between the Dermis and the Epidermis. This interface was where the antibodies were causing the inflammation, suggesting an auto-immune reaction, not an allergic reaction. That being said, there are 3 options for treatment; 1) Increase my dose of immune suppressant, 2) increase my dose of steroid that I've been on for almost a year, 3) a new drug for my system, called Plaquenil. Plaquenil was originally intended for treatment and prevention of Malaria, however it's also been proven to help with RA and Lupus symptoms. Plaquenil wouldn't further suppress my immune system or increase my risk of infection or bone damage, so it's the option I was most comfortable with. The only down side should be that it could take up to three months for me to start noticing a difference. Big, fat, hairy deal..... :)
So I asked Dr. Lipsey before she left, "How do my lungs sound?" She said they sound clear and healthy, no crackling anymore. I did a retarded dance for joy as I dug through my purse for my phone so I could text John and tell him. You see, we've been praying very specifically for God to rid my body of this disease and the effects it has had on my body, this was a small step in that direction. Dr. Lipsey moved my every-other-month visit to every 4 months or so, said that my blood work looked great and sent me on my way....2 more small steps:)
My next round of labs are scheduled for July, which is when BCBS should start pitching in to help with medical bills, the preexisting condition clause has almost expired!! Praise the Lord.....Having blood drawn on three separate occasions cost us almost $900. So this is a really big deal for us!
As far as my time with my husband is concerned, it has been very precious of late, and I'm guarding it most jealously. Saturdays are our day for quality time. The last few weeks it's been spent hiking and antiquing...the hiking is going a little better, as I'm conditioning my body for it. And for someone who's lungs only function " at 47%", I beast these trails!! We've found some really precious things while shopping, worldly treasures that remind me of people that I love dearly. Such as pieces of purple glass, like my Great-Gram Owen has been collecting for years. She's 100 years old, and she's amazing. I spent a lot of time with her as a kid, and grew up seeing these pieces of purple glass. As I understand it, these pieces were made prior to WWII(?) and were made with manganese. With prolonged exposure to direct sunlight, these pieces turn purple. The pieces we're found vary in size and type-from vases to milk bottles.
I've also been able to add to my teacup collection several "new" teacups; 6 fro my sweet mom-in-law, and one during a hunt in Brevard, NC. I've added these to; one teacup from my Great-Gram Owen's collection ( a Christmas present that made me cry ), one from my Gramma Chauvin ( purchased on one of a couple cruises to Bermuda), and one that I bought as a young teen, and has been broken ( by my sister Allie, who was two or three at the time ) and super glued back together!
Still struggling with contentment as I am a proud new Auntie of a sweet baby boy, Davis James Pachter, son to Jamey and Lucy Pachter, and I await the arrival to Jonathan and Jeanette's second son. But God has been so kind to increase a desire for his word, joy in reading through Colossians, and moving backwards to start Galatians. God has been good to remind me that I will not be truly happy until he is first place in my heart. This truth is very familiar, I learn it a lot, and am dismayed at how quickly I forget it. But I must(by God's grace) remain in the word, rejoicing in "old" truths, learning "new" truths, and pursuing fellowship with my Savior!
As I see God answering specific prayer, I'm encouraged to pray faithfully for certain people that God has placed on my heart. The second part of James 5:16 stated that "the effectual fervent prayers of a righteous man avails much"... I wouldn't call myself righteous, but I'm pursuing it, so I'm gonna assume that's close enough. No obvious answers there yet, but I'll keep you posted:)
So I asked Dr. Lipsey before she left, "How do my lungs sound?" She said they sound clear and healthy, no crackling anymore. I did a retarded dance for joy as I dug through my purse for my phone so I could text John and tell him. You see, we've been praying very specifically for God to rid my body of this disease and the effects it has had on my body, this was a small step in that direction. Dr. Lipsey moved my every-other-month visit to every 4 months or so, said that my blood work looked great and sent me on my way....2 more small steps:)
My next round of labs are scheduled for July, which is when BCBS should start pitching in to help with medical bills, the preexisting condition clause has almost expired!! Praise the Lord.....Having blood drawn on three separate occasions cost us almost $900. So this is a really big deal for us!
As far as my time with my husband is concerned, it has been very precious of late, and I'm guarding it most jealously. Saturdays are our day for quality time. The last few weeks it's been spent hiking and antiquing...the hiking is going a little better, as I'm conditioning my body for it. And for someone who's lungs only function " at 47%", I beast these trails!! We've found some really precious things while shopping, worldly treasures that remind me of people that I love dearly. Such as pieces of purple glass, like my Great-Gram Owen has been collecting for years. She's 100 years old, and she's amazing. I spent a lot of time with her as a kid, and grew up seeing these pieces of purple glass. As I understand it, these pieces were made prior to WWII(?) and were made with manganese. With prolonged exposure to direct sunlight, these pieces turn purple. The pieces we're found vary in size and type-from vases to milk bottles.
I've also been able to add to my teacup collection several "new" teacups; 6 fro my sweet mom-in-law, and one during a hunt in Brevard, NC. I've added these to; one teacup from my Great-Gram Owen's collection ( a Christmas present that made me cry ), one from my Gramma Chauvin ( purchased on one of a couple cruises to Bermuda), and one that I bought as a young teen, and has been broken ( by my sister Allie, who was two or three at the time ) and super glued back together!
Still struggling with contentment as I am a proud new Auntie of a sweet baby boy, Davis James Pachter, son to Jamey and Lucy Pachter, and I await the arrival to Jonathan and Jeanette's second son. But God has been so kind to increase a desire for his word, joy in reading through Colossians, and moving backwards to start Galatians. God has been good to remind me that I will not be truly happy until he is first place in my heart. This truth is very familiar, I learn it a lot, and am dismayed at how quickly I forget it. But I must(by God's grace) remain in the word, rejoicing in "old" truths, learning "new" truths, and pursuing fellowship with my Savior!
As I see God answering specific prayer, I'm encouraged to pray faithfully for certain people that God has placed on my heart. The second part of James 5:16 stated that "the effectual fervent prayers of a righteous man avails much"... I wouldn't call myself righteous, but I'm pursuing it, so I'm gonna assume that's close enough. No obvious answers there yet, but I'll keep you posted:)
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Grace in health
It's been almost a year since I was hospitalized for Pericarditis. And in this last year, I've remained mostly healthy. That, to me, is a large dose of grace.
Brief review: I have a disease that causes my immune system to attack the soft tissues in my body. It has caused many complications to every day living; from pain and stiffness in my joints and blue fingers, to scarring in my lungs and stress on my heart, resulting in said Pericarditis. I've also had Shingles, 3 kidney stones, and acid reflux for the last 7 years or so.
I recall August 8th or so...the day I went to the pulmonolgist and he told me I would most likely need a lung transplant in the next year. That was one of the toughest days I ever had. And God gave abundant grace that day too.
I was talking with my sister-in-law Lucy the other day; Lucy is an internal physician, and she got the first ball rolling in getting me treatment and sponsorship upon moving back to Greenville from Philly in August of 2008. Lucy is pregnant with their first child, she has almost 7 weeks left, I think... She asked me what I was planning as far as "family/children" were concerned. So I told her that I had talked with my rheumatologist about it, and she wasn't very enthusiastic about the idea. So Lucy asked if it would change my mind if the doctors said that it would be dangerous. I laughed, and said no. Then I got real serious and told her, "Luce, I've wanted to be a momma since I was a child myself. I wanted to be just like my momma. That's all I've ever wanted, my life's ambitions, as it were."
You see, I serve a God that is Sovereign. He is known as the Great Physician, and He knows all things. He controls whether or not my body could handle carrying a child, and He has the power to heal my body completely ( Anytime, Father! ).
I'm fairly certain that for me, any pregnancy would be high risk, but I am ENTIRELY certain that God is bigger than my diagnosis.
Lucy asked me what I would do if they told me that a pregnancy would kill me...."I'd tell them I wanted a second and third opinion", and then I'd leave it in the hands of the One who knows all my days. I nearly weep as I type this; knowing how difficult that would be to hear, and knowing my own heart, how I would struggle to truly respond this way. But God will give grace if I ever hear those words.
I know that it seems I am rambling, but it all does have a point, I promise:)
Tonight in Life Group, Josh McCarnan was testifying what God had been doing in heart through a physical trial his son CJ had gone through the week before, and through Pastor Conley's teaching in Genesis 32, where Jacob wrestles with God. He explained that Pastor Conley drew out the parallel, between Jacob wrestling to get AWAY from God, and then turning to wrestle to cling TO God. He said that he felt similarly, wrestling with the reasoning behind God giving CJ this trial to deal with, and wrestling for peace to trust God's wisdom in it. And I know exactly where he's coming from, maybe even more acutely.
God allowed me to have this disease. God alone has the power to heal me. There is no cure, or consistently effective treatment for Scleroderma. But He hasn't.....
This is the "mat" upon which I wrestle. What's the purpose of this? Could you not teach me these lessons some other way? In a way that won't jeopardize my life, or the dreams I've held since I was a child? Or maybe that's the point. Maybe it is to point out the things that I hold onto too tightly. The things, or ideas that I love more than Jesus.
I don't doubt that God gave me the desire to be a mother. And it's a good thing, but do I want it more than I want fellowship with Jesus. Honestly...yes. I spend more time thinking about being a momma, than I do in the Word---by far! So where am I seeking satisfaction and joy? Not in Jesus, who alone can give it...
I have some changes for God to make. In the meantime, I've been mostly healthy for almost a year. And I'm really thankful. Sometimes, I lay in bed just thanking God for another day that my body worked the way it was supposed to. I thank him almost DAILY for Prilosec, and regardless of the fact that I'm on an immune suppressant, I've only gotten sick twice in the last year. Both times, I got better without having to go on an antibiotic. That's a HUGE deal. I still have most of my hair, and I've managed to get back up to a healthy 130-ish pounds, and stay there for almost a year.
Maybe these changes will begin with God reminding me of his goodness to me on a daily basis-and me rejoicing in it! I think it's a good start anyway.
...Complete in Thee-Each want supplied,
And no good thing to me denied;
Since Thou my portion, Lord, will be,
I ask no more, complete in Thee.
Yea, justified! Oh blessed thought!
And sanctified! Salvation wrought!
Thy blood hath pardon bought for me,
And glorified, I too shall be!
Brief review: I have a disease that causes my immune system to attack the soft tissues in my body. It has caused many complications to every day living; from pain and stiffness in my joints and blue fingers, to scarring in my lungs and stress on my heart, resulting in said Pericarditis. I've also had Shingles, 3 kidney stones, and acid reflux for the last 7 years or so.
I recall August 8th or so...the day I went to the pulmonolgist and he told me I would most likely need a lung transplant in the next year. That was one of the toughest days I ever had. And God gave abundant grace that day too.
I was talking with my sister-in-law Lucy the other day; Lucy is an internal physician, and she got the first ball rolling in getting me treatment and sponsorship upon moving back to Greenville from Philly in August of 2008. Lucy is pregnant with their first child, she has almost 7 weeks left, I think... She asked me what I was planning as far as "family/children" were concerned. So I told her that I had talked with my rheumatologist about it, and she wasn't very enthusiastic about the idea. So Lucy asked if it would change my mind if the doctors said that it would be dangerous. I laughed, and said no. Then I got real serious and told her, "Luce, I've wanted to be a momma since I was a child myself. I wanted to be just like my momma. That's all I've ever wanted, my life's ambitions, as it were."
You see, I serve a God that is Sovereign. He is known as the Great Physician, and He knows all things. He controls whether or not my body could handle carrying a child, and He has the power to heal my body completely ( Anytime, Father! ).
I'm fairly certain that for me, any pregnancy would be high risk, but I am ENTIRELY certain that God is bigger than my diagnosis.
Lucy asked me what I would do if they told me that a pregnancy would kill me...."I'd tell them I wanted a second and third opinion", and then I'd leave it in the hands of the One who knows all my days. I nearly weep as I type this; knowing how difficult that would be to hear, and knowing my own heart, how I would struggle to truly respond this way. But God will give grace if I ever hear those words.
I know that it seems I am rambling, but it all does have a point, I promise:)
Tonight in Life Group, Josh McCarnan was testifying what God had been doing in heart through a physical trial his son CJ had gone through the week before, and through Pastor Conley's teaching in Genesis 32, where Jacob wrestles with God. He explained that Pastor Conley drew out the parallel, between Jacob wrestling to get AWAY from God, and then turning to wrestle to cling TO God. He said that he felt similarly, wrestling with the reasoning behind God giving CJ this trial to deal with, and wrestling for peace to trust God's wisdom in it. And I know exactly where he's coming from, maybe even more acutely.
God allowed me to have this disease. God alone has the power to heal me. There is no cure, or consistently effective treatment for Scleroderma. But He hasn't.....
This is the "mat" upon which I wrestle. What's the purpose of this? Could you not teach me these lessons some other way? In a way that won't jeopardize my life, or the dreams I've held since I was a child? Or maybe that's the point. Maybe it is to point out the things that I hold onto too tightly. The things, or ideas that I love more than Jesus.
I don't doubt that God gave me the desire to be a mother. And it's a good thing, but do I want it more than I want fellowship with Jesus. Honestly...yes. I spend more time thinking about being a momma, than I do in the Word---by far! So where am I seeking satisfaction and joy? Not in Jesus, who alone can give it...
I have some changes for God to make. In the meantime, I've been mostly healthy for almost a year. And I'm really thankful. Sometimes, I lay in bed just thanking God for another day that my body worked the way it was supposed to. I thank him almost DAILY for Prilosec, and regardless of the fact that I'm on an immune suppressant, I've only gotten sick twice in the last year. Both times, I got better without having to go on an antibiotic. That's a HUGE deal. I still have most of my hair, and I've managed to get back up to a healthy 130-ish pounds, and stay there for almost a year.
Maybe these changes will begin with God reminding me of his goodness to me on a daily basis-and me rejoicing in it! I think it's a good start anyway.
...Complete in Thee-Each want supplied,
And no good thing to me denied;
Since Thou my portion, Lord, will be,
I ask no more, complete in Thee.
Yea, justified! Oh blessed thought!
And sanctified! Salvation wrought!
Thy blood hath pardon bought for me,
And glorified, I too shall be!
Monday, March 14, 2011
Grace for New Things.
Well..I got a job at St Francis:) Not the job I interviewed for; this one is "part-time" status, but I can get up to forty hours if I want them. It's a second shift position 1 pm-7 or 8 pm. By May or June, they are expecting to need another first shift person on first shift. So maybe by then, I'll know the computer system and be comfortable enough with the processes to move to first shift. Weekends and holidays off. Thank you Lord:)
My physical is scheduled for tomorrow, and orientation is March 28th. I quit LevelOne promptly upon my call from my interviewing supervisor....well, I worked my 3 hour shift for that day, and then quit. I had planned to give two weeks' notice, but they've been jerking me around with my schedule for the last 2 months, so John told me to just be done.
Today I went to the Dermatologist to get this rash checked out. It started on my stomach where my shingles scarring is, so that had me kind of worried. But it didn't hurt like shingles, and wasn't always itchy. So it has spread up onto my chest and on my back and both arms as well. The dermatologist said it's most likely an allergic reaction to detergent or something. Reactions in the skin that develop like that commonly appear in an area where the skin has been injured or damaged before. Either that or a particular kind of rash that is relatively common in a lot of people. A once in a lifetime kind of rash, that goes away on it's own.
So it's not shingles, and is not a flareup of my Scleroderma...Thank You Lord:) I hope to have it gone, with the cream he prescribed, before I start the new job. In the meantime, I'm enjoying my days at home:) Someday, I will really enjoying being a full-time domestic engineer.
John and I are excited for Spring Break, hoping to visit our Philly family, provided I can get that time off from this new job. The routine of daily life is starting to wear on John, between work, and classes, and tutoring. This time of year wears him down as things begin to bloom in Greenville. He's congested and head-achy, unable to focus, kind of groggy. We're looking forward to a break from the daily routines next Sunday, when we go to The Biltmore House with James and Angie. Good times with good friends..... I'll try to post pictures:)
My physical is scheduled for tomorrow, and orientation is March 28th. I quit LevelOne promptly upon my call from my interviewing supervisor....well, I worked my 3 hour shift for that day, and then quit. I had planned to give two weeks' notice, but they've been jerking me around with my schedule for the last 2 months, so John told me to just be done.
Today I went to the Dermatologist to get this rash checked out. It started on my stomach where my shingles scarring is, so that had me kind of worried. But it didn't hurt like shingles, and wasn't always itchy. So it has spread up onto my chest and on my back and both arms as well. The dermatologist said it's most likely an allergic reaction to detergent or something. Reactions in the skin that develop like that commonly appear in an area where the skin has been injured or damaged before. Either that or a particular kind of rash that is relatively common in a lot of people. A once in a lifetime kind of rash, that goes away on it's own.
So it's not shingles, and is not a flareup of my Scleroderma...Thank You Lord:) I hope to have it gone, with the cream he prescribed, before I start the new job. In the meantime, I'm enjoying my days at home:) Someday, I will really enjoying being a full-time domestic engineer.
John and I are excited for Spring Break, hoping to visit our Philly family, provided I can get that time off from this new job. The routine of daily life is starting to wear on John, between work, and classes, and tutoring. This time of year wears him down as things begin to bloom in Greenville. He's congested and head-achy, unable to focus, kind of groggy. We're looking forward to a break from the daily routines next Sunday, when we go to The Biltmore House with James and Angie. Good times with good friends..... I'll try to post pictures:)
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Grace for Contentment
Yesterday I had an interview at St Francis hospital. I had applied for a position in patient registration, via the internet after hearing about the job from Tammy Jacobs several weeks ago. I've been waiting and praying for a couple weeks now; waiting for the job to post, and praying that I would get it.
When Barbara called me, I was so excited, and set an appointment for that morning. I sent out mass text messages telling my friends that I was on my way to an interview, asking them to pray.
And you know what?
I got a text back from every single person ( except Daddy and Randy, who were working on a roof ) saying that they were praying. At that moment, my heart was overwhelmed with these friends -these good gifts- that God has given me. To have brothers and sisters who can boldly approach the throne of grace on my behalf, who willingly do so because they love me.
And why?
Not because of who I am, or what I have done for them, but because of who Jesus is, and what He has changed in me. Because of what he has done and change in them
And how?
Like I said, boldly. Because of what Jesus did for us on the cross. When we come before the throne, our Father sees the righteousness of Jesus. WOW.
So that was a sweet thing to ponder. The God who sent Jesus to save me, when I didn't want him to, was the same God who would be in control of this interview.
My brother-in-law Jamey called me to let me know about the terrible parking accommodations at St. Francis, to be sure I left in enough time to find a place. Barbara was very nice-a northerner, no less:) As she described the position and the hours, and what was expected, I got a little excited. Apparently since St. Francis is a faith based program, they are required to have a "staff devotions" kind of time every day. As she told me this, I prayed " Oh Lord, I REALLY would love to work here!"
All in all, it sounds similar to LevelOne, getting accurate information from frazzled distracted people, and helping them get to where they need to be.But it's face-to-face. And the pay is much better... and the hours are the same every day...and I have weekends off. Barbara seemed satisfied with the answers I gave her questions; like, diffusing co-worker conflict by maintaining a spirit of humility. Serving them in love, just as I would the patients coming in the door. I think that I'm laid back enough to get along with just about anybody. But I'm also a people-pleaser. I will change whatever may be necessary to create a peaceful and productive work environment. So Barbara asked me to come back this next Wednesday to meet and interview with my potential co-worker. She's going through a list of 30 or so applicants for the second interview as well. Awesome....a personality contest. not intimidating at all.....and then I remember who's in control of this situation. But every time I think of this job, I ask God for two things: 1)to either bless me with this job or 2) give me contentment in the job I have.
I'm writing this post in the midst of talking Brian and basketball with Randy...so I've lost train of thought and I think I'm done for tonight. That's ok though, I'm purty tired...
Birthday lunch with Momma tomorrow-her's, not mine. That'll be pretty sweet, I really enjoy spending time with my momma. She's one of my best friends; besides my husband, I'd say she's tied for second with Randy:)
When Barbara called me, I was so excited, and set an appointment for that morning. I sent out mass text messages telling my friends that I was on my way to an interview, asking them to pray.
And you know what?
I got a text back from every single person ( except Daddy and Randy, who were working on a roof ) saying that they were praying. At that moment, my heart was overwhelmed with these friends -these good gifts- that God has given me. To have brothers and sisters who can boldly approach the throne of grace on my behalf, who willingly do so because they love me.
And why?
Not because of who I am, or what I have done for them, but because of who Jesus is, and what He has changed in me. Because of what he has done and change in them
And how?
Like I said, boldly. Because of what Jesus did for us on the cross. When we come before the throne, our Father sees the righteousness of Jesus. WOW.
So that was a sweet thing to ponder. The God who sent Jesus to save me, when I didn't want him to, was the same God who would be in control of this interview.
My brother-in-law Jamey called me to let me know about the terrible parking accommodations at St. Francis, to be sure I left in enough time to find a place. Barbara was very nice-a northerner, no less:) As she described the position and the hours, and what was expected, I got a little excited. Apparently since St. Francis is a faith based program, they are required to have a "staff devotions" kind of time every day. As she told me this, I prayed " Oh Lord, I REALLY would love to work here!"
All in all, it sounds similar to LevelOne, getting accurate information from frazzled distracted people, and helping them get to where they need to be.But it's face-to-face. And the pay is much better... and the hours are the same every day...and I have weekends off. Barbara seemed satisfied with the answers I gave her questions; like, diffusing co-worker conflict by maintaining a spirit of humility. Serving them in love, just as I would the patients coming in the door. I think that I'm laid back enough to get along with just about anybody. But I'm also a people-pleaser. I will change whatever may be necessary to create a peaceful and productive work environment. So Barbara asked me to come back this next Wednesday to meet and interview with my potential co-worker. She's going through a list of 30 or so applicants for the second interview as well. Awesome....a personality contest. not intimidating at all.....and then I remember who's in control of this situation. But every time I think of this job, I ask God for two things: 1)to either bless me with this job or 2) give me contentment in the job I have.
I'm writing this post in the midst of talking Brian and basketball with Randy...so I've lost train of thought and I think I'm done for tonight. That's ok though, I'm purty tired...
Birthday lunch with Momma tomorrow-her's, not mine. That'll be pretty sweet, I really enjoy spending time with my momma. She's one of my best friends; besides my husband, I'd say she's tied for second with Randy:)
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
"Sick as a dog"
My brother Randy moved in with us some number of weeks ago, and with him came Brian. Brian is a white Husky/Chow mix with one eye that is icy blue, and another that is half icy blue, half brown. He is a beatiful dog. He is sweet and obedient, mellow and friendly. I've heard him bark a grand total of three times, and he never licks my face. His fur is the bane of my existence. Maybe someday, I will chill out enough to not vacuum my couch before I sit on it, but today is not that day.
Yesterday, my husband got up at his normal early hour ( 5:15 am ) for P90X, also referred to as Satan's workout. He came in shortly before he left to inform me that Brian "had the squirts" and he and Randy were unable to do P90X because Brian needed a bath. He told me that he was going to take Brian out again before he left, and that I should keep an eye on him that day.
He came back just a minute later, completely distraught and apologetic. He stated that he "did not have time for this" and that Brian had thrown up just inside the door of Randy's room. His watch battery was dead, there was another puddle infront of our sliding glass door, and he was running late for work.
I laughed and told him I would take care of it; he apologized again, and hurriedly left for work. A minute later I heard four slow heavy knocks at the door. I giggled, got out of bed, and went to the door. As I opened it, I just gave him a look. His shoulders were slumped and he told me he forgot his keys. I laughed and let him in, and he whined a little that he couldn't get out of his own way. So I kissed my poor husband and sent him to work....and went back to bed for another 20 minutes to wrap my brain around cleaning up doggy puke.
We had determined that the most likely reason for his digestive issues was the wet dog food Randy treated him to on Friday before they went to Charlotte for the weekend. So I called my mother-in-law to ask what I should do. After talking with her, I got up and threw on a sweatshirt, put my dirty hair up and went out. I went to: the bank, to put $2,000 on the principal of our car loan;Wal-mart to pick up pepto tablets, body wash, protein powder, and the popular-in-our-home drink mix; BiLo to get ground beef to feed the dog and make chili;Aldi to get yogurt,eggs, rice,milk and cereal; and to Spinx, to redeem my BiLo fuel perks that were going to expire.I saved ten cents per gallon on gas that was priced at $3.05 per gallon. OUCH!
Hurry home to cook up rice and beef, and find a way to get Brian to eat the Pepto tablet. Solution:Peanut Butter. He had no trouble eating the cooked beef and rice. Cleaned up the doggy puke, washed my hands and bagged up the rest of the beef, emptied and reloaded the dishwasher, while swtiching loads of laundy. Then look at a clock and realize I don't have time to shower, as it's 11:20 and I have to leave for work in ten minutes. Just enough time to take meds and eat breakfast!
Three hours later, I was on my way home from a particularly yucky shift-Thank you Lord, that it was only three hours. More cleaning, spending time with Brian,fooling with my blog. Randy came home bearing flowers and chocolate, as a thank-you for dealing with his pup. I had discovered bits of foil wrapper among the stomach fluids I cleaned up, and realized, he also must have gotten some chocolate. Brian was in rough shape yesterday! He loves attention,he will sit at my feet, and will follow me around the house. Not yesterday...He laid on his blanket, and didn't move for hours-not even when I left the room. Randy came home, and his tail flopped and his ears perked up, but he didn't get up. Very strange....Brian knows his boy. He loves people, but Randy is the center of his world. When Randy comes home, nobody else exists for him. On the nights that Randy is late, he gets antsy and paces, listening for Randy's car. When Randy walks in his whole body skaes with excitement, and he doesn't let Randy out of his sight for the rest of the evening. So for him to not move when Randy came in was very strange, indeed. Poor pup.
As much as I am NOT a dog person, I do like this dog. And I have compassion for this one. If I had to have any dog here, I'm glad it's Brian. Now I have to get off the computer and vacuum my couch..and clean my floors....*sigh.
Yesterday, my husband got up at his normal early hour ( 5:15 am ) for P90X, also referred to as Satan's workout. He came in shortly before he left to inform me that Brian "had the squirts" and he and Randy were unable to do P90X because Brian needed a bath. He told me that he was going to take Brian out again before he left, and that I should keep an eye on him that day.
He came back just a minute later, completely distraught and apologetic. He stated that he "did not have time for this" and that Brian had thrown up just inside the door of Randy's room. His watch battery was dead, there was another puddle infront of our sliding glass door, and he was running late for work.
I laughed and told him I would take care of it; he apologized again, and hurriedly left for work. A minute later I heard four slow heavy knocks at the door. I giggled, got out of bed, and went to the door. As I opened it, I just gave him a look. His shoulders were slumped and he told me he forgot his keys. I laughed and let him in, and he whined a little that he couldn't get out of his own way. So I kissed my poor husband and sent him to work....and went back to bed for another 20 minutes to wrap my brain around cleaning up doggy puke.
We had determined that the most likely reason for his digestive issues was the wet dog food Randy treated him to on Friday before they went to Charlotte for the weekend. So I called my mother-in-law to ask what I should do. After talking with her, I got up and threw on a sweatshirt, put my dirty hair up and went out. I went to: the bank, to put $2,000 on the principal of our car loan;Wal-mart to pick up pepto tablets, body wash, protein powder, and the popular-in-our-home drink mix; BiLo to get ground beef to feed the dog and make chili;Aldi to get yogurt,eggs, rice,milk and cereal; and to Spinx, to redeem my BiLo fuel perks that were going to expire.I saved ten cents per gallon on gas that was priced at $3.05 per gallon. OUCH!
Hurry home to cook up rice and beef, and find a way to get Brian to eat the Pepto tablet. Solution:Peanut Butter. He had no trouble eating the cooked beef and rice. Cleaned up the doggy puke, washed my hands and bagged up the rest of the beef, emptied and reloaded the dishwasher, while swtiching loads of laundy. Then look at a clock and realize I don't have time to shower, as it's 11:20 and I have to leave for work in ten minutes. Just enough time to take meds and eat breakfast!
Three hours later, I was on my way home from a particularly yucky shift-Thank you Lord, that it was only three hours. More cleaning, spending time with Brian,fooling with my blog. Randy came home bearing flowers and chocolate, as a thank-you for dealing with his pup. I had discovered bits of foil wrapper among the stomach fluids I cleaned up, and realized, he also must have gotten some chocolate. Brian was in rough shape yesterday! He loves attention,he will sit at my feet, and will follow me around the house. Not yesterday...He laid on his blanket, and didn't move for hours-not even when I left the room. Randy came home, and his tail flopped and his ears perked up, but he didn't get up. Very strange....Brian knows his boy. He loves people, but Randy is the center of his world. When Randy comes home, nobody else exists for him. On the nights that Randy is late, he gets antsy and paces, listening for Randy's car. When Randy walks in his whole body skaes with excitement, and he doesn't let Randy out of his sight for the rest of the evening. So for him to not move when Randy came in was very strange, indeed. Poor pup.
As much as I am NOT a dog person, I do like this dog. And I have compassion for this one. If I had to have any dog here, I'm glad it's Brian. Now I have to get off the computer and vacuum my couch..and clean my floors....*sigh.
Friday, February 25, 2011
Why a change of title? Because I can. I like change. I love to clean and get rid of old things and organize. Including my thoughts. God has been teaching me, and I thought I'd share a peek, a snapshot, or "vignette" with you.
So it's been over six months that John and I have been married. I've learned a lot more about grace these last few weeks than I ever thought I needed to learn.
John is back in grad school, taking classes two nights a week, and one class that meets every third Thursday. He is also tutoring two nights a week, plus LifeGroup in our home on Tuesday night.
My brother moved in with us a couple of weeks ago with his white Husky/Chow dog, Brian. Brian is a wonderful dog;mellow, sweet and obedient. But he is white...and I have fuzzy chocolate brown couches, and laminate flooring. I feel like I'm constantly vacuuming and/or dustmopping. Having Randy here has been great, I knew it would be. He's always been one of my closest friends, and he and my husband get along very well.
Work at LevelOne has been the biggest cause of growth in my life these last few weeks. January hit with a busy leasing season, so my hours went back to crazy. I was being scheduled for almost 40 hours a week, and was back to the 3-midnight shift. During the week wasn't too bad, but Friday and Saturday nights are the only nights John doesn't have class or tutoring, and those days I haven't been seeing him at all. It's been proven that something about computer screens messes with the levels of melatonin in the brain. So after working 8 late hours, and needing an hour or so to unwind, getting up for church on Sunday mornings has been really tough. Furthermore, I'm starting to wonder how much longer my body can handle the stress of this job. How much longer before it shuts down again? Fear has definitely been a consistent addition to exhaustion and frustration.
John had Presidents' Day off from school, so I tried to trade away my hours, and requested it off, so that I could rest, clean, spend time with my husband, etc. I got up Monday morning to find that I still had to work...all day. I was so upset. This was possibly my first spiritual temper tantrum. I was so angry at God; I know he's all powerful, I've seen what He can do! So why could He not let me have this day with my husband? I fumed all the way to work, cried when I got there, and cried through my first 3 phone calls. I didn't ever ask for grace to make it through that long day. I didn't want it, I didn't ask for it, I certainly didn't deserve it.
But He gave it to me anyway.
Isn't that so kind? Isn't that so like God? Kind of like Ephesians 2. I was dead in sin, doing exactly what my corrupt nature told me to do. But God...God was rich in mercy. He made me new. He showed me Jesus, and gave me understanding as to what Jesus had done. I didn't want it, I didn't ask for it, I certainly didn't deserve it.
But He gave it to me anyway.
I am humbled. Repentant.Thankful. Ready to be made more like Jesus.
Brother Josh McCarnan led our LifeGroup this last week so John could study for a ginormous Abstract Algebra test on Wednesday. We were discussing Pastor Conley's teaching of Matthew 14, where Jesus walks on water. We reviewed what we discussed last week; the disciples just having seen Jesus feed 25,000+ people, still did not see Jesus for who he was. They saw a man who could meet their material needs. So Jesus sends them out in a boat, sends the crowd away and retreats to spend time in prayer with the Father. Then this storm comes; the disciples fight for their lives in this storm for nine hours. Nine hours! Skip ahead, past Peter walking on the water, to the part where Jesus climbs into the boat.....
The storm immediately stops. The disciples response; "Truly, you are the Son of God" *Insert angelic voices*
They finally got it! That was the whole point; Jesus brought them through the storm of fear and frustration and into the calm of faith and worship. The point of the storm was to bring them to the point of seeing Jesus for who he is. That is worship. To acknowledge God for who He is.
So the purpose of my "storms"....To show me who my God is. To bring me to faith and worship. To make me more like Jesus. And I'm so thankful that God is more faithful than I am. I'm faithful sometimes. I'm faithful (almost always) when life is easy. I'm faithful (a lot of the time) when things are hard. But like every sinner, I get to a point where I freak out and think it's time to take back control of the situation. But as soon as Jesus "steps into the boat", my storm is over.
So Jesus, can you please quit walking on water?? I know it's really cool and all, but I just need you to stay by my side. All of the time. I need you to be in control all of the time, 'kay??
"If you can calm the sea, then you can comfort me
If winds obey your voice, why should I fear their noise?
And though my eyes can't see,
I know you're with me.
Peace, you give me peace
when the storms come and I'm afraid
Peace, you give me peace
when I trust in the words you say.
You give me peace"
I think this is where my difficulty lies. It's hard to trust the words he's said, if I don't know what he's said. It's tough to claim promises if I haven't read them, meditated on them, rejoiced in them.
So it's been over six months that John and I have been married. I've learned a lot more about grace these last few weeks than I ever thought I needed to learn.
John is back in grad school, taking classes two nights a week, and one class that meets every third Thursday. He is also tutoring two nights a week, plus LifeGroup in our home on Tuesday night.
My brother moved in with us a couple of weeks ago with his white Husky/Chow dog, Brian. Brian is a wonderful dog;mellow, sweet and obedient. But he is white...and I have fuzzy chocolate brown couches, and laminate flooring. I feel like I'm constantly vacuuming and/or dustmopping. Having Randy here has been great, I knew it would be. He's always been one of my closest friends, and he and my husband get along very well.
Work at LevelOne has been the biggest cause of growth in my life these last few weeks. January hit with a busy leasing season, so my hours went back to crazy. I was being scheduled for almost 40 hours a week, and was back to the 3-midnight shift. During the week wasn't too bad, but Friday and Saturday nights are the only nights John doesn't have class or tutoring, and those days I haven't been seeing him at all. It's been proven that something about computer screens messes with the levels of melatonin in the brain. So after working 8 late hours, and needing an hour or so to unwind, getting up for church on Sunday mornings has been really tough. Furthermore, I'm starting to wonder how much longer my body can handle the stress of this job. How much longer before it shuts down again? Fear has definitely been a consistent addition to exhaustion and frustration.
John had Presidents' Day off from school, so I tried to trade away my hours, and requested it off, so that I could rest, clean, spend time with my husband, etc. I got up Monday morning to find that I still had to work...all day. I was so upset. This was possibly my first spiritual temper tantrum. I was so angry at God; I know he's all powerful, I've seen what He can do! So why could He not let me have this day with my husband? I fumed all the way to work, cried when I got there, and cried through my first 3 phone calls. I didn't ever ask for grace to make it through that long day. I didn't want it, I didn't ask for it, I certainly didn't deserve it.
But He gave it to me anyway.
Isn't that so kind? Isn't that so like God? Kind of like Ephesians 2. I was dead in sin, doing exactly what my corrupt nature told me to do. But God...God was rich in mercy. He made me new. He showed me Jesus, and gave me understanding as to what Jesus had done. I didn't want it, I didn't ask for it, I certainly didn't deserve it.
But He gave it to me anyway.
I am humbled. Repentant.Thankful. Ready to be made more like Jesus.
Brother Josh McCarnan led our LifeGroup this last week so John could study for a ginormous Abstract Algebra test on Wednesday. We were discussing Pastor Conley's teaching of Matthew 14, where Jesus walks on water. We reviewed what we discussed last week; the disciples just having seen Jesus feed 25,000+ people, still did not see Jesus for who he was. They saw a man who could meet their material needs. So Jesus sends them out in a boat, sends the crowd away and retreats to spend time in prayer with the Father. Then this storm comes; the disciples fight for their lives in this storm for nine hours. Nine hours! Skip ahead, past Peter walking on the water, to the part where Jesus climbs into the boat.....
The storm immediately stops. The disciples response; "Truly, you are the Son of God" *Insert angelic voices*
They finally got it! That was the whole point; Jesus brought them through the storm of fear and frustration and into the calm of faith and worship. The point of the storm was to bring them to the point of seeing Jesus for who he is. That is worship. To acknowledge God for who He is.
So the purpose of my "storms"....To show me who my God is. To bring me to faith and worship. To make me more like Jesus. And I'm so thankful that God is more faithful than I am. I'm faithful sometimes. I'm faithful (almost always) when life is easy. I'm faithful (a lot of the time) when things are hard. But like every sinner, I get to a point where I freak out and think it's time to take back control of the situation. But as soon as Jesus "steps into the boat", my storm is over.
So Jesus, can you please quit walking on water?? I know it's really cool and all, but I just need you to stay by my side. All of the time. I need you to be in control all of the time, 'kay??
"If you can calm the sea, then you can comfort me
If winds obey your voice, why should I fear their noise?
And though my eyes can't see,
I know you're with me.
Peace, you give me peace
when the storms come and I'm afraid
Peace, you give me peace
when I trust in the words you say.
You give me peace"
I think this is where my difficulty lies. It's hard to trust the words he's said, if I don't know what he's said. It's tough to claim promises if I haven't read them, meditated on them, rejoiced in them.
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