Snapshots Of Grace

It's Monday again, John and I are looking at another full week of work, cleaning, bible study, etc. I believe John was feeling a little overwhelmed last night as he realized he has a paper due on Tuesday, and we have work tonight. Mondays and Wednesday are long for him, as he goes from school to tutoring to cleaning with me. But, Lord willing, these jobs will end mid-June. God has used it to graciously provide for my need, and give just an extra boost. But it's really wearing on me. I feel like there's so much I should be doing for the wedding, but can't think of what-because I'm working most evenings. Physically, I have more endurance than I did a year ago, now that I'm healthier, but it still wipes me out. But God gives grace, and every day that we clean I'm learning true thankfulness!
Saturday we had engagement pics done, that was so much fun. Only took about an hour and a half, and we got some great stuff. I think I've pretty much decided which one we will use for the invitations, and which ones to print and frame, etc. I'm also going to print off a bunch of my favorites, along with pictures from our actual engagement and scrapbook them....in my spare time??
Sunday was a busy day, running around looking for ties for the groomsmen. We found a couple that would have been perfect, but as they were on sale, there were only two of them...and we needed seven. Oh well, we don't need them until July. And God provides in astounding ways sometimes. I love that about Him! I love to watch Him provide in a way I never expected. And it humbles me when He provides for a need I didn't know I had, or didn't think to talk to Him about.
John and I met up with Anna and Stephen at DB, so Anna could find a dress and get it ordered. After trying on several, I think she narrowed it down to two, and actually was quite sure which one to get. But she needed some more time to think on it;)
We had to rush off to get to church for our first marriage counseling session. I'm so thankful that God put Pastor Barney here, and I'm thankful for the ministry he has been to John. It's been such a blessing for him to hear PB's heart on his ministry in the church, and what God could potentially do at HP. When PB asked what we were expecting from our counseling, we both kind of laughed...we've never done this before, so we're not totally sure what to expect. But I told PB that I didn't care about issues like how to squeeze a tube of toothpaste, or which way the toilet paper goes. Those things have never been an issue-probably because I had four other siblings that I shared a bathroom and toothpaste with;) I wanted to know the tough stuff: how to biblically deal with sin in my spouse, and how to differentiate between actual sin issues that need to be addressed and my own injured pride! I'm excited about the work we have to do, working through theology and worship practices. Those are things I am pretty sure we are united on, but we will see. This kind of quality time is my favorite. I love having specific things to talk through with John;thus far, I have seen that his standards/beliefs are based solely on what he has read in God's Word.. So even if I disagreed, I couldn't disagree long, once I read the scriptures for myself!
I think I had underestimated my role as a "helpmeet", PB said that I would be John's main source of sanctification, as I will know him and his faults better than anyone-so then how do I point him to Christ and his gospel? How will I do that without stepping into spiritual leadership?
John will surely be learning quite a few of my flaws as we begin working through these things together. He told PB that one of the things that drew him to me, was my servant's attitude, and it was one of the areas in which we serve God better together. He said that my servant's spirit has enabled him to work more effectively for the sake of the gospel. But I know that- as much as I desire my motives for service to be purely for the glory of God, and helping the gospel-that's not always the case! Sometimes I weary in well-doing, wondering if my service is even noticed, if I'm even being effective in my ministry. I'm amazed at how many different ways my pride shows itself. I'm looking forward to seeing more ways in which my pride manifests itself, and by God's grace, putting that pride to death, so I can learn how to "help" John:)
So, one meeting with Pastor Barney, and I highly recommend him for counseling. This is going to be tough, intense, unpleasant and very necessary. I'm sure, by God's grace, this will be the most beneficial thing we are doing to prepare for our marriage.